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Sex and the City in 2018

Recently, I’ve started re-watching Sex and the City from the very beginning. I tend to do this every couple of years or so. It’s my go-to. A programme that is always familiar to me but somehow always new. Every time I watch it I chastise myself for forgetting quite how good it is. The fact that the program was ‘ahead of its time’ is well covered ground. However, for me one of its draws is the way it makes me feel.
It makes me want to immediately text all my friends to arrange a brunch and then makes me want to savagely attack my wardrobe and despair at the fact I’ll never look quite as eclectically cool as Carrie does but relieved I’ll never look as dire as Miranda in Series 2 Episode 14 (If you know, you know).

I’ve come to accept the fact that I’m probably a wannabe Carrie with some Charlotte and Miranda tendencies thrown in. Carrie for her fashion credentials (I said wannabe…) Charlotte for her idealistic dreams of the future and Miranda for her take no shit, straight talking sass (lol). I think everyone could probably identify a little of themselves in all of the women. Except maybe Samantha, she is the character that when I watch the show now, feels the most dated. She comes across as the most one dimensional. The writers attempt at making a sexually progressive character was to just write a clichéd male character and give it a female body and it just doesn’t work in 2018.  At the time of release her no holds barred attitude to sex was deemed revolutionary, now Samantha comes across cringey and slightly predatory. I believe that we are now too accustomed to well written, multi-faceted female characters to let Samantha’s overtly lecherous attitude slide in today’s world.

I think things may have also regressed since its release; the show that championed sexual liberation may have loosened the taboos around sex but sadly in 2018 it doesn’t feel like it’s broken down any walls. Women are still very openly sex shamed; take Megan from Love Island (I will stop harping on about it one day, I promise) whose trolling about having sex on national TV got so bad that she resorted a to wear a slogan t-shirt reading ‘Stop valuing women based on their sexual history’ on Good Morning Britain. It was on this she that she also made the very valid point that her co-star Adam also had sex on the same show but nobody is hurling daily abuse at him.

However, Samantha is by no means all bad. One thing I’ve realised recently is that Samantha and SATC has helped me stop being such a prude! Up until recently I was the type of person who would only be naked in the shower, whilst fake tanning and during sex (more often than not with the lights off… during sex, not fake tanning). The show has helped me learn to love my body the way that Samantha loved hers. SATC showed women having fun (most of the time) during sex, and never settling for anything less. It was shown as a partnership; they were getting as much out of it as the guy was, whether it was a one night stand or a relationship. These women said no when they didn’t want to go the distance, and they guided men when things weren’t quite right.
There is still this warped perception today that sex is for the guy, there are so many women obliging in sex, shit sex for that matter and then wondering why it continues. We are perpetuating that notion – 42% of British women have admitted to suffering from ‘a lack of sexual enjoyment’. In the wonderful words of Samantha ‘Screw me badly once, shame on you, screw me badly twice, shame on me.” This is something we need to start being better at having conversations about.

The open and honest conversations between a group of friends is at the heart of SATC and that still very much rings true today – I’m probably my best, uncensored self around my friends. This is why brunch is so popular! It allows a place where you can discuss the nitty gritty of life, from period poverty to sex positions. There is no better safe space than your group of best friends.
I could harp on for hours about SATC, there are just so many topics to cover, relatable to modern day or not. I could write for days about Miranda’s terrible fashion – seriously the wardrobe department was so unkind to her and how she was the original ghoster. I could wax lyrical about how Charlotte was the woke one of the crew. How Big was a terrible template for future boyfriends. That’s for another day however. For now I will leave you with this #TeamAidan

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